Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
