# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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