Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
