Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Randomize
