Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
