I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
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