I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
she pinky promised me she was 18
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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