I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
