it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
