I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
