I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Randomize
