that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Randomize
