matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize