walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
