i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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