..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
