The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
True strength comes from lack of pants
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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