im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
