ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
