Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
