you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Randomize