I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
