we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Randomize
