I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize