you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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