Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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