I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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