why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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