I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
