Just cropdusted the office
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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