Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
