Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
