I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
