ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
