Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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