Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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