im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
