I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
40s are totally the cure
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
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