so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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