How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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