some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
don't judge my taste in strippers
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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