You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
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