I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
