i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
