good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
