It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
