The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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