He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
