Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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