I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
