There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
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