I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize