seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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