The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
