U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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