I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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