I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
