well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
