At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Randomize